Christian Relationships

Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

After progressing in the foundations of Christianity, Paul gives us clear instructions on how to maintain our family and our relationships.

Husband & Wife

In Verse 22 onwards, we read the relationship between the husband and wife are compared with that of Christ and the Church. The important truth we learn is that Jesus is the savior and head. This special relationship started when Jesus saved the Church by purchasing it away from the world and then he had become the head of the body. So, as beneficiaries of this new purchase, we are required to exactly follow this sacrifice in our relationships.

The husband should take a savior’s role in the family. (Verse 25) He should accept the importance of the lady’s presence in his life. Jesus was longing for our love. This was the reason He gave importance to the commandment of loving God (Mathew 22:37) more than everything else. He should first love her to a sacrificial level. Since Christ was here as a living sacrifice for the salvation of the Church, the husband should submit himself that all his efforts henceforth should benefit the wife. There should be a lot of patience and suffering in this relationship.

The church does not submit to Christ just because it was preached or instructed. The reason for submission comes from the love received from Christ Himself. Similarly, a wife should happily submit herself to her husband because she had been loved abundantly. Comparing this situation with the parable in Mathew 18:21-35, we should know that our salvation will become void if we do not love our wives. This is a clear instruction from the Bible.

The next step is clean the church with water, by the word (v 26). This is an interesting portion where the husband cleanses the wife which is quite contrary to well accepted practices. Normal marriages are done where the wife comes from great inheritance in terms both materials and pride from her family and she is expected to bring honor to the husband’s family. But, in actual Christianity, it should be different. The wife has to disown all her previous inheritance and accept that she is nothing prior to the marriage. She has a need to be cleansed by the husband. Whatever values a wife had brought from her previous home becomes null and void. There should be absolutely zero bragging about the previous life.

And the term, cleansed by the word gives us another important lesson. The “word” here is not Logos (Written) but Rhema (spoken). This is different from John 1:1 where Jesus is given the importance of written word. Here, in Ephesians, Paul speaks about cleansing with the Word. This word is the authoritative declaration of God that when we are baptized with water, we are clean inward indeed. This declaration gives us the sanctity. In the very similar sense, the declaration of the Husband is sufficient for a woman’s sanctity. Until this, the woman is not considered pure. Many of us consider ourselves pure and holy because we did not sin or we never had an opportunity to do so. But Jesus was tested (Isaiah 28:16) and then he was declared holy. Similarly, until a woman gets tested at marriage on how her behavior is, she is not given any qualification.

Reading John 15:3, Jesus mentions to His disciples that they are already cleansed by the words he has given them. This was an utterance of faith and trust. Soon after this statement, Peter was going to deny Jesus. But, still Jesus calls them as “already cleansed”. This means that our receipt of the word makes us worthy and God has a strong trust that expects us to come to Him. This trust is mandatory for a healthy family life. Just as Jesus trusted us with Salvation without works, a husband should unconditionally trust his wife and vice versa.

This importance God has for this relationship is the reason why we need to leave our parents behind. Parents need to be honored by us unconditionally, but this should not influence the primary relationship. In many families, we strongly believe that only arranged marriages are accepted by God. Arranged marriages are good socially, but not a mandate from the Bible. But, the importance is on how we live after marriage and there is no mention on how to choose partners anywhere. However we get married, God values the relationship on the day of commitment. Sometimes parents give a very foolish statement that their son or daughter’s marriage was not the will of God and so, it did not work. Sometimes it is hard for children to submit to their spouses in front of their parents. The separation will avoid blame games. Parents expect a perfect spouse for their child. But the truth is two imperfect people join together in marriage towards perfection through submission. No marriage will work unless there is love and submission. And so, all marriages will work if love and submission are there.  

The mature requirement of a family is that a husband may present to himself a glorious wife (verse 27) without any wrinkle or blemish. This presentation does not come from the wife’s parents or anybody else. All benefits are received from the husband to the wife and it the wife herself who is the reward for a perfect husband. A good husband should be proud of his wife.

Children & Parents

We have limits in our submission to our spouses, but we do not provide that limit to our children’s obedience. Let us know that God commands unconditional obedience between servants-master and wife-husband, but in case of children, the phrase “in the Lord” is added. This means that this obedience should help a child’s relationship with Jesus Christ.  

For children, if we should be successful both in earth and heaven, it is required for us to honor our parents. This honor is unconditional and includes obedience to a great level.

Another thing we need to learn is that children can be provoked to anger and it is the parent’s duty to not encourage that. In Ephesians 4:26 requires us to be angry and not sin, implying that it is good to be angry and we should not sin. The thing to stop is wrath which is different from anger. This keeping away from sin during anger is a mature requirement and it is hard to expect from children. So, it is very important for parents to be patient while disciplining their children. There is a very distant gap between anger and discipline.

Parents should discipline and warn them towards the Lord. We need to make them understand that there is no life outside Jesus. The success the world is showing is completely wrong. We should not teach them to become rich or earthly successful, but teach them to pursue good characteristics. We need to teach them to be satisfied with what they earn.

Servants and Masters

For servants, the sincerity to work should be from the heart. Not to the eyes. They need to seek to do good for the money they are being paid. Let us understand that this obedience is also unconditional. If somebody had paid for our service even for an hour, we are bound to do that work unconditionally. Luckily we have a choice to agree before making the commitment. However, once bound, we need to submit ourselves completely.

And masters should understand that they are not the ultimate owners but have a master in heaven to whom both the servant and master are equally answerable.

Conclusion

If we have relationship with submission and love, it is very much easy to be successful in our relationship with God. Even the presence of anger will be constructive if there is love, submission and fear of God.

Risen

Ephesians 2:5 “even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)”

In this verse, Paul clearly says that we were raised up from the dead together with Christ. This means that the resurrection is an event we share with the Lord Himself and so, the event should happen in our lives in the same manner as it happened in Christ’s life. Also, the same verse clearly states that being risen alive is an essential event of salvation. The Christian life we live currently is essentially the period between resurrection and ascension.

Let us try to understand the process here.

Mathew 28:2 Earthquake and Visible proof

There is a massive experience on being born again. Everybody around us should know and acknowledge that we are risen people. There were signs and proofs everywhere for Jesus being risen. He gave very much importance to this. The stone was rolled away that people could come in and see that the tomb is empty. People come in searching for a dead person and to help him. These are both good and bad people looking for a dead person. But, there were clear signs stating that this person has risen up.

It is mandatory that we tell the world that the person they are looking for is unavailable. The person who partakes in their deeds is no longer live. He is dead and a new person is born. This is the reason for baptism. We are making a statement to the world that a new person is being born.

Acts 1:3 “Infallible Proofs” meaning it is our responsibility that the signs we give to the world do not fail. Otherwise, it will cause them deny the resurrection of the Holy Lord.

John 29:17 & Mathew 28:9. Communion with God and People.

These verses point to the fact that Jesus was ascending up to heaven and descending back to meet people a lot of times in this period. This is understandable since Jesus was not staying with the disciples, but kept giving them appearances. This is a state where we keep the Father very close and updated through our prayers. Jesus did not want anybody to even touch Him before the Father. That is the kind of importance we give to our relationship with God.

Also, the Lord says that His Father is their Father too and His God is their God too. The emphasis is that Jesus is going to the Father who is now onwards your father too. This relationship has been purchased at crucifixion. Now, we are more of brothers and so equal in the father’s eyes. Since Jesus wants this message to be delivered to the disciples, addressing them as His brethren, and as an encouragement, the message is that He is visiting a father who is common to both of us and will ensure our position as the Father’s children. And this is the pattern we need to follow when we share the gospel. We should have a burden that they are our brothers who share a Father.

Mathew 28:9 Rejoice!

Let us rejoice for the new person. The exclamation mark in the end shows the happiness Jesus had when receiving them. This is the first statement Jesus has to say when seeing the ladies together. Jesus first had great rejoicing and was passing this happiness to everybody around. The pattern is that first happiness is received and then shared and everything else follows afterward.

And, rejoicing as per the ladies was to worship Jesus by holding his feet. This place is complete rejoicing and would please us tremendously.

Mark 16:16 Believe

This verse could be understood in a manner where non-believing is an unpardonable sin and leads to condemnation. This may seem that Jesus is unfair to us in this regard. But, when we read this together along with Thomas’ doubt (John 20:26 onwards), we see the efforts Jesus takes in making us believe. He waits for many days so that we would believe him without visible signs. Our failure in this makes him come back to Him at-least after seeing signs. The former set is more privileged than those who require signs from the Lord. In John 20:8, we see that John as soon as he saw the cloths in the tomb, he believed.

In Mark 16:17 onwards, Jesus mentions all the signs are given so that everybody could believe. These are all only signs and not privileges given to us. But, we all are very happily in the receiving end where we think that we deserve all miracles to happen in our lives. The Holy Spirit specifically calls these as signs as they happen here and there just to make others believe.

As per John 20:31, we need to have assurance of eternal life after believing. That is we need to believe that through the resurrection of Jesus, we would live and this life is in His Name.

1 Cor 15:44 A Spiritual Body

The difference between a natural body and a spiritual body is clearly explained in these verses. It is not that we would lose our physical body, but it was owned by our natural self(soul) and now the spirit has taken over. The priority is more to the strength of the spirit. The first man serves dust but the second man looks for heavenly things. The characteristic of the first Adam who started natural life is that he was living soul. The last Adam quickens the Spirit. Romans 8:16 explains that the spirit will witness to God and will not be condemned. The soul would be condemned instead. The natural person is aligned towards the flesh and spiritual is aligned towards the spirit.

John 21:15-19 Tend my Sheep

When Jesus delegates responsibilities to Peter, He made sure that Peter took that seriously. Also, the reason behind the whole of Peter’s ministry should be that Peter should love Jesus more than everybody else. Not because we love our family or friends, because we love Jesus more and more, we would minister to Him. Before we leave, it is very important that things are properly delegated to worthy and the right people.

1 Cor 15:58 Conclusion

Let us continue doing the good work of Jesus Christ with complete assurance that our work or progress will not go in vain in the Lord. To the world, it may seem to be vain, but in the Lord’s parameters, it will be seen as very useful efforts. So, let us be steadfast, immovable and always abounding in the work. Abounding is not in material wealth but in the works of the Lord. Let all the Lord’s qualities and efforts abound in our life so that many will be shared to the brotherly position that was promised and earned by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

Acceptable to God

Ephesians 5:10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 

2 Corinthians 5:9 says that it is our ambition to please God.

It is everybody’s desire to find and do that is acceptable to God. We are all always in the receiving end from God where he keeps blessing us, forgiving us and showers his grace towards us. In return as gratefulness, we are required to please God by giving not just anything but the things those are acceptable to Him.

The answer for God’s desire and acceptableness is in Ephesians 5:2 where Paul says that Jesus gave Himself for us as a sweet aroma to God. But, it would not seem right on God’s part to see His own son being killed to be a sweet aroma to Himself. Let us dig deeper in this.

We read the word “sweet aroma” to God in multiple times in the Bible where God experienced pleasure and was happy. The first instance is during Noah’s time (Genesis 8:21). This was just after Noah and his family got out of the ark and had offered burnt sacrifices to God. But, when Abel offered his sacrifices, God “respected” him (Genesis 4:4) but when Noah offered sacrifices, it was a pleasing aroma to God. The primary difference here is that God had got rid of all uncleanness in the world. But, since the verse 20 show that Noah took all clean animals meaning there were unclean animals too. But God was not worried about them. God was very much pleased when Sin was eradicated from the earth. These are the terms in heaven. The only thing that brings unworthiness in God’s eyes is sin.

This is again very much clearly mentioned in Ezekiel 20:40,41. The previous verses (33 onwards will mention that God would come redeem Israel and then place them in the wilderness and then judge them. This judgement would purify them and God would separate those who would serve Him truly and accept them as a sweet aroma. A sweet aroma comes when we are purified.

When we read about the 5 sacrifices in Leviticus 1 (1:9, 2:9, 3:5, 4:7) onwards, we can read that the first four sacrifices (Burnt, Grain, Peace & Sin) when burnt would bring a sweet aroma to God. We can see that all these sacrifices are done either as atonement with God for sin or a voluntary sacrifice. These sacrifices have one single purpose of bringing a lost person back to the original relationship or to improve the relationship with the Almighty.

But there are two sacrifices, the guilt offering and one type of grain (first fruit) offering which are not to be presented as an aroma to God which means that these two are there as we are in the receiving end and that does not please God. This does not mean that God is not pleased when we receive, but God is not pleased with our satisfaction with worldly materials.

In all these sacrifices, they bring aroma when the animal or sacrifice is burnt completely. Reading Romans 12:1 in the same context, we can see that we are to present our bodies as a living, holy and acceptable sacrifice to God. A living sacrifice means, we should be burnt completely and yet live. The verse does not say that God will accept this if we submit ourselves as a living and a burnt offering, but we ourselves present as an offering which is acceptable to Him. The verse brings together the two words “mercies” and “acceptable” which contrast anywhere else. We are not expected to try harder to become acceptable to God, but by the mercies of God. God’s mercy makes us acceptable, holy and living. Our responsibility here is to present ourselves to the mercy of God. In the OT, it was our responsibility to check the ram to be perfect but here, we require the mercy of God.

The word “living” is very important here. The sacrifices in the OT were all burnt completely to please God, but we live to please God. This living states that we are a sacrificial living to God, a living which is ready to give up anything and has absolutely no selfish interests. Jesus exactly lived this life and so, God proclaimed that “This is my Son in whom I am well pleased” (Mathew 3:17). God could have told this after Jesus’ death and resurrection. But, The Father expresses His complete pleasure when Jesus had presented Himself into being a living sacrifice.

This is the divinely reasonable service we do to God. Paul uses the word reasonable because all our other efforts are below par. Excellence is the ministry Jesus did and God was not just pleased, but completely pleased. If only if we present ourselves, it becomes reasonable. The pattern of worship now is completely different from this definition.

In Romans 12:2, Paul further states that if we transform ourselves by the renewing of our mind. This is the Holy Spirit’s role in us pleasing God. After presenting ourselves, the Holy Spirit comes inside us and renews our mind. But being transformed becomes our responsibility. He changes our perspective towards the world and its fakeness. If we transform ourselves by rejecting the world, we prove to the world that the will of God is good, pleasing to God and perfect. It is our life which stands against the fashion of the world. We do not show or demonstrate to the world, but prove which means others are convinced that God’s will is good, pleasing and perfect. We need to ensure that everybody come towards God in our worship and that will be pleasing to Him. If our worship satisfies ourselves it cannot be true worship.

Another place where Paul mentions about an acceptable gift to God is in Philippians 4:18. In this verse, Paul had received material support from the church as Philippi and mentions that it was useful to Him. But in verses 11 onwards, we can read that Paul did not receive large portions or amounts of support from this Church. (We often read verse 13 in a wrong motive that we can achieve all things through Christ, but the “all things” are in verse 12. Paul says that he can suffer and enjoy riches both with the strength of Christ. The strength directly points at being contempt with what we have.) The gifts Paul received were just for necessities (verse 16) and the man of God was satisfied with what he received. This offering was acceptable and pleasing God. God is pleased when we have enough fuel to run and not when we enjoy worldly riches.

If we really want to please God, it is you and me who is required to please Him among believers and non-believers, both inside the Church and outside. (2 Corinthians 2:15). If we are properly saved and grow up in the Lord, we not only ourselves, but lift Jesus also up as a sweet aroma in God’s eyes.